Most of the time when I hear the phrase or commentary “That’s not fair” it’s in relation to how a particular situation is affecting the person who voiced it. In other words, it’s often a self-centered comment. Not that it doesn’t make it true, whatever is in contention probably is the result of unfairness. But that is hardly ever uttered in relation to someone else’s plight (that perhaps is to our advantage maybe?!) I find that things are rarely ever equally balanced…and that’s where I usually start when looking at life.
In life, in my experience, it’s not just that things won’t be fair, however. People are going to take advantage. People are going to be thoughtless. People are going to be haters. People are going to be jealous. That’s because most of us people are humans. I consider myself to be a fairly good human (I try to be at least) and I have been guilty of all of those…and more. Even the best of us humans fall short at times.
So perhaps if we start from there – not that it and/or life isn’t fair – but that either through intention or circumstance, things will not be fair, then perhaps it can help us to deal with unfair and its place in our lives.
I should point out at this point, that I believe my Faith plays a part in my acceptance of unfair in my life. Some things are just too much of this world to let them get me bent out of shape about them. Some people are in situations that I don’t know about and that might be affecting how they are acting. In a similar way, I’ve come to what I think is a certain wisdom:
When I question my own faith, I am questioning myself.
Said by me – at least once in the last 40 years
When I question someone else’s faith, I am questioning God.
(I cannot be that presumptious)
So is there anything so unfair that I will/would not be able to let it stand? I don’t know, and I hope to never find out. To be clear, when I find myself counseling by my daughters or grandson I will always take the opportunity to set them on the straight path or to sympathize if they have been wronged. Should unfair be allowed to go unpunished? Probably not, but I think oftentimes the penance or reaction to unfair can be more effective if I don’t let unfair hurt, effect, or change me.
Life is unfair – trying to make it so is a task for eternity…that doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t try to strive for fairness…just means we won’t ever achieve it…and how fair is that?!
